PARENTING WITH EASE

Parenting-whisperer Erica Cruz asked myself and two other amazing mothers to participate in a podcast about becoming a mother. Again. Again? Yes. Just because you've been to the rodeo before doesn't mean you remember how to ride the bull!

Erica is the Founder and Director of Homeschool Garden, an amazing center for infants and young children. Erica offers 20 plus years of knowledge and experience as well as daycare, workshops for parents and classes for infants. She is like my swiss-army knife. An encyclopedia of knowledge, warmth and support. 

Erica’s mission is to keep families grounded and cultivate optimistic parenting. Her real life experiences draw from diverse settings with groups of children from infancy through adolescence: in a preschool setting, a family day care setting, a resident camp, as a nanny, and as a mother who homeschooled her own children. During that time she became a certified RIE ™ Instructor, trained in Waldorf, and most recently she spoke at Herstory 2014 to more than 125 women and parents. Erica is dedicated to providing an environment where children and families can thrive and grow together with a foundation of mutual respect.

In episode 2 new parents again Brooke Christopher, Dorian Mains and myself join Erica to share our new children, our new family dynamics, and our 3 desires for our families. Each share, lends to the other as we all lean in with our experience, vulnerability and deep hearted thoughts. Listen in HERE and get a sense of our community. 

RIE RAISING

Parenthood is emotional, exhausting, delightful, fulfilling, never ending and constantly evolving as children grow and experience new thoughts, feelings and perceptions. As my sons grow, I too grow to keep up with their evolution. Searching for parenting topics , I stumbled upon Janet Lansbury's podcast, Unruffled Parenting. It was a game changer. More like a cheat sheet. Her RIE based fifteen-minute podcasts were digestible and easy to implement. She talked about specific scenarios and gave solid solutions. Gold! Enter the RIE method - an acronym for Resources for Infant Educarers (pronounced WRY). The method was conceived in the 1940s by Magda Gerber, an intelligent Hungarian industrialist who resettled in Los Angeles. I'll be sharing some highlights that I learn along the way. I find the foundations to be easy, direct and helpful.

The RIE message is simple - respect the baby's true nature. It's a dignified parenting practice. It's all about basics and blue prints. RIE territory is vast, but one of the offerings I find helpful is the specific language and the non-attached emotional style. It is very much staying present and connected to your child. It provides options to scenarios I may have otherwise overreacted to or have uncertainties about, such as allowing my son to have HIS emotions and not take them on personally or try to 'fix' him. It's hard to not want to help or soothe your child when they are melting down over a NO, but I've learned through the RIE lens to not shush him or distract him. Hushing or distracting only teaches him that his feelings, no matter what they are, are not valid. Instead I verbalize what I see and hear, "I hear that you are upset. You wanted to keep playing with your wagon. I stopped you. You didn't like that I stopped you. You really want to play with your wagon." More than most of the time the validation eases his tensions and tears. He feels heard! Doesn't everyone want to have their feelings validated and truly feel heard?