soul with structure

Danielle LaPorte's 2017 Desire Map Planner collection is out and into the world. I say this every year: I love my day planner. I’m love using this planner system.

Blessed with a F U L L life - an energetic toddler, a house remodel, a budding career and a baby expected in early December, I've learned to surrender to living life out of balance. We live in a culture that promotes balance - which I get. But the more I strived for balance, the more irritated I was. I found surrendering to an out-of-balance mentality served me with so much grace. 

The planner offers me organization and design that works for super practical to the soulful moments that make up my schedule. I incorporates my soul and my to-do list; my gratitude and my goals; my deepest desires with my day-to-day.

How I plan my day is how I plan my life - with soul and structure. 

#TheJuggleIsReal

Turned Two In A Flash

I've always heard parents say phrases like, "time flies", "I wish I could make time stop", or "slow the clock down". I understand what they mean. As a parent I understand that the cherished moments we have with our minis is fleeting. Time marches on. The desire to hold on to every precious moment comes from a loving place, but I feel so fulfilled in the quality time that my son and I do have the opportunity to share that I don't feel the need to hold on to much - rather set it all free!  As a parent, I want to give my son wings and roots! My experience as a mother is full. I don't want to make time stop and I don't want the clock to slow down. I want time to move in it's natural rhythm. When I am with my son, I AM WITH HIM. Like, WITH. HIM. Calls are missed, texts aren't answered and social media gets less attention. Being consumed with his world offers me complete emersion into authentic connections with him - total quality time. Our days are filled with new, old, curiosity, laughter, emotions, exploration and connection. 

They days I do get to spend with him are lived in the moment. It offers me a golden opportunity to remain present and witness ALL of his growth, allowing me to thoroughly experience mothering him - unrushed. Slowing time down would not be in alignment with his growth. I want his wings to keep spreading. I want his growth and curiosity to blend into the rare beautiful moments we have together. My witnessing his formation is the gift of motherhood. His roots will ground him for moments of stillness when he is ready to slow. Until then Caleb, onward. As I continue to witness.

Happiest of Birthdays Caleb!

#RootsAndWings #RaisingCaleb #TurnedTwoInAFlash ⚡️

Hanging on

I was ignoring the pain. Have you ever done that - held on to the pain - shoving 'it' down your internal black vortex? In your sacred gut? Out of your heart or mind, so you didn't have to FEEL the ache?

I experienced this avoidance recently with a soul-matched-friend. That one in a million-solid-type friend. She moved through her life with fire! A total supportive, self-discovering, creative and generous friend. #TotalTribe. We laughed. We cried. We were. And then we were drifting apart. There was no single reason for the happening, but there were some tender rifts that arose and some differences in opinions. It was just happening.  Her life and my life, colliding in the heaviest way.  And it was painful. 

Once there was space between us and the awkwardness became too much, we hand an opportunity to talk about where we both stood in the misunderstanding. I was open. I listened. I shared. I took responsibility for where I could have handled things differently and more supportively. I learned how what I needed to do to fully rise myself so how I could allow her to fully rise. 'Cause it's ALL about the rise!

One evening, I meditated on the feeling and got that divine wink that I was avoiding the pain. So I decided to do the opposite and embraced the hurt. I created a tender space for the pain and didn't resist it. Didn't try to recount the why's or the how's - I just let the pain exist in my everywhere in my body. Entirely. 

As soon as I embraced the ache, I felt expansion. I could breathe easier. There was more room in my heart and mind. It was as things should be. No push, pull or hanging on. Just being, in my pain. Fully.

And as the fullness swallowed my being, I let go.

Fully. Gently. Tenderly. Softly. Patiently. Kindly. Mmmmm - that's better.

My head bowed + my heart raised to the pain that leads to love.